A Bright Sunny Morning...Rather like the start of another long Journey.. perhaps wondering if I have turned the Gas off, finally closing the street door putting the heavy padlock on, very quietly going down the Georgian stairs. Always thinking why so particular about not making a noise. No one else in the house now, other than the two young women on the ground floor... see them about once a month... if that. Not seen them since my eruption with Anna... Come to think of it, have not seen her either. Good reason for this. Had the temerity to make her a brief visit... taking her a small bunch of flowers and a few relevant pages of this manuscript. A note, admitting it to be the first time I had ever "gone to her"... something she had always wanted... Now, so much later, it hardly mattered.
We sat in the same scruffy room, the same finished cigarette ends, the same remains of another meal left on the table.. a bottle of orange juice, couple of smeared glasses. Sat almost in darkness, only the reflection of the street lamps gently lighting her face. We talked very quietly... so unlike our other encounters, so very long ago. Whatever had been between us had flown away, this we both knew. She, changed almost beyond belief, matured now, her thrill with life replaced with the reality. My prophecy about her coming completely true.
Gently pointed this out to her. if she had of come, stayed at the flat with me on that first encounter, the time I had opened the window saying " Why do you want to run about out there?... you will be safe here, in this flat". No, she had wanted to spread her wings after the constricting of Poland, of Andrychow.
She wanted to be free, to "Love the World"
Knew now, quite different... Knew that all the World wanted from her was to screw her in whatever guise, whatever deceit. She retained her virginity, retreated into Sylvia, by now, as one, inseparable. Retreated into each other, determined to face the situation out until next month when they will return home, in all probability "Sadder and Wiser" The sheer exuberance of their youth, gone.
A very quiet calculating Anna! My Anna! unbelievable! On a level with any Thai young Lady...
She went into her acting piece... wringing her hands gently together.
"Peter you must ! Must give me two hundred pounds!"
Soft tears ,
"I do not want to work any more in the restaurants with all the men trying to touch me."
Remembered Nit, Pa, their reasons why I should give them two hundred pounds. Their Mother was ill, their father was dying, the Baby needed Polio injections... Dear Anna, never thought, had told her of Thailand... yet, unable to understand my reaction at such a request. Perhaps implying I should do it ………
"If I loved her".
Stopped playing that particular, devisive game several decades ago.
Tried not to smile, pleased that there were only flickering shadows, shouts from drunks in the street as the Pubs closed
"What about the other money you owe me?" Could not resist that dig.
"Oh! you offered it to me!" She lied beautifully..
Only lack of nerve prevented her from becoming a first class Hustler, had the looks, the figure, the ability to act out a given situation. Rather like someone I used to know, almost the image, in fact...
Preferred to hang on to Sylvia, to scrub floors... to still, even now, wait for a mythical Prince Charming to come along!
Decided to leave, abruptly. She not having that, suddenly standing up, pushing me back into my chair, saw her look at the clock..
"What are you waiting for?
"Oh Sylvia will be here at midnight"... Wanting me to stay and keep her company until her lover returned... Peter still being used.
Stood up, pushing her away ...me, pushing Anna away!.. .untrue... suddenly put her arms about my neck, at that exact moment Sylvia came in.
I was dropped like a wet, cold, fish.
Walked out into the night….. smiling to myself..
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