The bottom line of this perhaps rather long narrative, is not, as I initially started out as a perhaps green, green badge cab driver, who did not move to the valley of Diesel “Ilford” with the obligatory new cab, wife, mortgage and two kids.

No one more surprised than I at the realisation of what has materialised, a first hand description humiliation and deprivation of the British working class from the 1930's.

This erosion brought about entirely by deliberate policy of successive governments.. and the ten draconian years of Tony Blair who deliberately, for whatever reason, encouraged the influx of irrepresible waves of the World's disenchanted onto these shores, by doing so, creating a powerful, intimidating, devisive weapon against the indigenous labouring masses and a hard core of … crime, poverty and unemployment… the triple iron fist of all governments,plus Enron, 9/11, Afghan conflict over oil, Kosovo all emphatically used by Blair; any outcry was by "politically incorrect racists" as Dr David Kelly was to find to the cost of his life.

The differential between rich and poor, is greater now, than during the Middle Ages.

Monday 15th January. 10.a.m.

Sit here in Beller.. silent.. A vague percussion from a street drill somewhere. Very cold.. Vague thoughts of Aura.

Drifted last night down the other end of town, her end ..her deserted street.. her house.. A silent Sunday evening.. the soft swish of trolley busses .. silent people disappearing into the silent labyrinths of existence.

Stood solitary opposite her entrance as had done in other places at other times, other female faces.. Nothing ever changes…

Finally rang the intercom.. the other girl answered , the young, small, quiet one, the one deeply interested in her clitoris…frequently examining it with a mirror. A charming young woman. Last saw her , my last evening with Aura ..she had been stitched up by her "employer" refused to give her wages on some pretext, leaving the girl on the verge of starvation. She in bed that evening.. Gave Aura $40 to give her, which brought a faint smile to her existence..

Whatever, Cyn and I ..Lord and Lady Dunnabunk, sitting here in the warm sanity.. gently laid back, gently sipping our drinks.. impervious of the World outside, beneath, around us…

Looked at Aura through the glass, knew she was agitated.. invariably is whenever she arrived at Beller, always left smiling.

This time round, rather imagined it would be different..

Asked her through the glass to calm down .

Let her in .. she almost unrecognizable, noticeably aged.. the attractive, handsome, young woman I had created, now like a taxi which had been left lying about in a yard, neglected.


With confidence, could say I was not responsible for this aging apparition, sitting crouched on the sofa.. the one we had spent so many hot,, erotic nights together on. Did it to herself, aided and abetted by some other man, who hardly had the interest in her I had so consistently shown…for what… ultimately? A sharp, cowardly, stab in the back. But this is life, I, of all people on this Planet, not in any position to remonstrate. Deep down , all along, aware of the inevitable coming, in what form, I did not know .. had no wish to know… having hidden myself within her.

But her sudden, open contempt ! a strong move, equal to any woman . A very big surprise for Peter …..indeed.

Hardly had any grounds for satisfaction with her situation now, to see fifteen months of my work, my love, gone up so very quickly… in smoke. Had not the slightest intention of bringing her back to life, as Cynthia and I had done last spring when she came here on her knees with tears, anguish, hands clasped in supplication.

Cynthia, silent, still.. a sphinx.. ..A tiger snake poised, watching a rabbit .

Stood by the stove, warming my backside, perhaps hoping Aura would say something interesting.. knew she would not. Simply, softly, said she had been in hospital for ten days, that she was to see a psychiatrist…..

Another bloody Susan..

Said very loudly, she did not need a psychiatrist ..she needed to go back to Church on her knees and ask God or whomever there may be in this Universe to forgive her, her treachery, her arrogance and contempt for other human beings.

She muttered on, almost incoherently… How the German had "Pushed Her' in his frustration, his discovery of her double life.. but he had nothing to be indignant about, only coming to Romania to see what women he could pick up on the cheap, as so many other men do, especially those who work for airlines. He conveniently working for Lufthansa, came here every few weeks with his boyfriend, both only paying 10% of the fare, he also paid nothing for the incessant bombardment of telephone calls he made to Aura.. controlling her every movement, night and day, on her mobile. Lufthansa picked up that tab… knowingly or otherwise. Hardly know why she stood all that aggravation.. stood the three card trick apparently .. for a promise.. of..

A Passport to the West.



Did not bother to answer her soft voice.. walked away into the night… back to Cynthia ..who, as always , as ever, was waiting

After my Sunday night stroll, not really surprised at Aura appearing at the door the following evening…some people call it telepathy, or was it perhaps, the repercussions of the photograph I sent her of a certain young, naked lady, holding Aura's favorite toy.. was it that ?…. maybe.
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