The bottom line of this perhaps rather long narrative, is not, as I initially started out as a perhaps green, green badge cab driver, who did not move to the valley of Diesel “Ilford” with the obligatory new cab, wife, mortgage and two kids.

No one more surprised than I at the realisation of what has materialised, a first hand description humiliation and deprivation of the British working class from the 1930's.

This erosion brought about entirely by deliberate policy of successive governments.. and the ten draconian years of Tony Blair who deliberately, for whatever reason, encouraged the influx of irrepresible waves of the World's disenchanted onto these shores, by doing so, creating a powerful, intimidating, devisive weapon against the indigenous labouring masses and a hard core of … crime, poverty and unemployment… the triple iron fist of all governments,plus Enron, 9/11, Afghan conflict over oil, Kosovo all emphatically used by Blair; any outcry was by "politically incorrect racists" as Dr David Kelly was to find to the cost of his life.

The differential between rich and poor, is greater now, than during the Middle Ages.

Saturday, April 15, 2000……..1:25 PM.

Very hot .

If it were not for the barking dogs of Bucharest which are driving me to some distraction, peace stretches quite tight over Beller. Sit here in the Sun in great splendor, has to be better than grinding round the wretched streets in a black tin box , has to be..
My small "Verandah, a large vodka and orange, My smart garden chairs cushions, sun shade ..this must, has to be, better than Clapton Common, splendid isolation. Cynthia having toddled off to do some building work, the only woman ever known to carry about with her a hammer, screw driver, nails, around in her pockets, she most efficient in that aspect , most aspects if one takes time to consider it .

Sit here quite naked, sun beats gently down, Thailand without the drama's, demands and expense.. so what is my problem?? unable to think of any particular one at the moment, only the always present , at the back, right at the back of my mind, this urgency to finish that which I have to say ..wish to say, regarding my existence, my experience on Planet Earth, not quite going to say "What has it all been about !! " , most people poise that question at some point in their lives.. I have wondered, many times , my slight contention, conclusion, being that it has something to do with space, space probes, especially "Voyager One".

Anyway, wandering off as usual. The problem is time, time to settle the account, time running out quickly, slipping away as the tide beneath Southend Pier, insidiously, silently, leaving nothing but vast acres of black mud.

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