Possible few men have tried so much as I to come to terms with women

Possible few men have tried so much as I to come to terms with women, every man I have known, without exception, given up, taken to drink, "succumbed ", (as Susan would put it with a faint satisfied smile about her lips) one way or the other.
Or, to laugh it off. "Er indoors". "The old woman" or, as Bernie always said quite loudly "My wife" although "indoors" he was the most pathetic, downtrodden creature it has ever been my misfortune to observe.

There is little hesitation on my part in saying that most of these men deserved the treatment meted out. Have personally always known the exact moment it is time to disappear. The transformation in Anna, from a very young unworldly woman.. to someone who would completely dominate a situation, going so far as to attempt physical violence to gain control. Fortunately I have not the slightest compunction in striking back, survival always been very strong in the Ridgley family.

Had five page, hand written letter from Cynthia today.. find it very difficult to read being powerless to do anything about her distraught feelings so openly spread across each page.

Looked at my accounts trying to see some way of squeezing a trip out of a whole column of minus signs. Rang to say I will go next week, have not the faintest notion where to conjure up the finance. Maybe the idea will stop her going completely up the wall, although she sounded quite good.

Then she always does.. a trooper.


It occurred to me that perhaps I am looking on Cynthia as the "Old Woman" although younger than my four eldest sons, incredibly, younger than Jennifer. Bucharest somewhere for me to go "home" too? Perhaps my sister brought this idea to me, remarking that most people "settle down" at twenty five ..somehow I am forty years late in reaching this.

Hard for me to shake off the Marine Bar ..for many years having looked upon it as the end of my particular road.. being impossible to go any further.. another thousand yards, the lights fade, the noise replaced by the soft sound of surf on the dark deserted beach, the road and my thinking, stopped dead, confronted by high, white cliffs, brightly reflecting a moon and stars of huge proportions.. unseen in the West

Remarkably Cynthia knows my thoughts, knows more or less which way the wind is blowing in my brain.. That maybe if I am so pissed off should go to Thailand .. Last trip there she sent me a Valentine card..! Imagine! Certain parties I know.. could only scream and seek "counselling" "Bangkok! what sort of diseases have you caught there!"

Such thinking, always left me more than annoyed, as if the Far East is a running, septic sore.. These bitches over here expecting their shit to be used as tooth paste, so full of themselves and their own expectations from other people, i.e. men. Their uncompromising, dominating attitude, enough for any man to get the first plane out. The current trend being Eastern Europe and Cuba..