Became quieter and quieter ... said less and less... Eddy, if he noticed this aspect, said nothing, pleased he had someone to travel about with him... to talk to... someone he could easily ..push ..someone without any apparent will of their own... Eddy too, broken by women.. although no one would dare say this to him. A very large man indeed.. eyes not yet, as in later years, bulging almost out of their sockets from the pressure of his own discontent. Huge, almost bald head... a strange, flat mask for a face... his only emotion, anger. Everything and everyone…… despicable...
His overpowering personality made him chairman of this Club, that organisation, secretary of small affiliations.. The ladies loved him.. He could dance as if a teenager, throwing his huge weight about with a not inconsiderable grace. Each night a different venue.... Ladies nudging each other as his tall body made its entrance.. he did not enter, as other people, he made an entrance.
Would look, making sure I was already there, having bought his pint of beer, having it ready on the bar waiting.
I would sip my orange juice while he stood, shirt sleeved, sweat already pouring down his face, swallowed the pint as if it were a oyster.. quickly followed by another, yet another, during this time he would not have said anything at all to me... surveying, ..deciding which Lady would have the honour of his immediate presence. He would go off then, my existence forgotten, would reappear, put his hand in his pocket trying to find money, something he never possessed, coming up occasionally with enough for a couple of drinks.. One or two words to me about "That old bitch".. or " She has money" in awed tones.. only now and again introducing me to these worn, painted, mostly wealthy Ladies, showing so much of their flesh. Possibly he was aware of my revulsion. He had been amazed at one of my very rare forages onto the dance floor, had simply walked straight out and taken a very young black girl from her partner. Eddy burst into laughter at this, beaming about, actually bought me a drink.. He had one object in life only, to find a woman to keep him in the comfort he would like to be accustomed to. No lack of such ladies, we were invited to big house, after big house, each bigger than the next.. I would sit, silent, watch the procedure, look at the trappings, listen to Eddy trying to say all the right words in all the right places, in order to impress these horrors within. Eddy, illiterate to say the least.. always asking me how he "Could speak proper like". A strange mind... making it a point never to forget anything.. as if this alone could have some bearing on life. Unfortunately, the man could not keep his efforts up for too long.. lapsing into his self, letting go an almighty, uncontrollable fart, it crashing through the innocuous, tedious conversation.
We would be dismissed ignominiously, hurriedly. I would fall into the cab, smiling at his abrupt downfall. Another long drive home in the dawn through the silent, deserted countryside... back to my own reality in Hackney.
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