Stepping into the streets of Bangkok,... simply stepping into another world, could feel the beat of seething humanity. Unlike Australia.. a different heat, a different atmosphere.. We tumbled into a strange, three wheeled, brightly coloured contraption, trundled off along the weirdest road anyone could visualise, stared curiously at by myriad smiling faces flying past us in huge buses, belching dense, black smoke. These ragged, windowless vehicles having only one pedal.. the accelerator and a loud horn blown continuously. Possibly, from those initial moments I began to wonder where I had been all my life.
Disentangled ourselves outside the Grace Hotel. Directly opposite, a ramshackle building denoting that it housed the best V.D.Clinic in BKK, food for thought.. Then, we had not seen anything!
It would be very difficult for those millions immured in the depths of Coronation Street.. East Enders.. the Australian soaps. Difficult for them to come to terms of what did happen next.. in the real world.. A world devoid of any softness, any social pandering, a total disregard for anything other than survival.
It was about four in the afternoon ..their time.. We had sorted the rooms out, I had finished up with Jimmy, the others had one huge room to themselves. Unpacked, showered, ready for the off and some food.
Asked about the "dining room" in all innocence.. Smart Thai man directed us to this extremely large hall ..very dark, tables all laid up, white cloths, jugs of water, cutlery set, bright posies of flowers, very few punters. Sitting right at the back thought I could see a large number of women.. so dark, they so far away, disregarded it. Sat down. Everyone stuffed the serviette round their collars, spreading it out over their shirts, rather like anyone would with a small child.. We must have looked a pretty muggish lot... Couple of young women started serving grub to us, then, suddenly, aware my fork and knife had a mind of their own, someone behind me holding their hands over mine, small, soft , beautifully manicured, hands, bright green nail varnish.. Before I could think about this, became aware my trousers being unzipped from under the table.. Looked at the others, all in the same boat. Must have been a dozen girls swarming over us.. hands everywhere.. all I could think was "What a way to die". Totally impossible to eat, they ensuring our only appetite was for them.
Without too much formality, we were dragged off, almost carried, much to the amusement of the Thai's lounging about and the few other punters who evidently knew the score. These girls had quickly realised we were raw recruits and went to work accordingly.
The last thing, Berni paying out wads of Barts to the waitresses hurrying after us, his tie, shirt, trousers undone, shouting "Nah then!" "Nah then, wots all this?!" ... apparently in some disarray, some bewilderment!. Thailand.. was his idea..!
There is no explanation.. how Jimmy and I finished up with one lady.. when there must have been one thousand to every man.. Berni said we were a "Couple of Shnorra's" in some disgust.. But that is what happened.. She, no beauty either.. she had other assets.. sexually tireless.. we had a great deal of time to make up Jimmy and I .. had that much in common. His years of being a Scout Master stood him in good stead.. always prepared for her.. so many deviations. becoming obsessed with her in those first couple of days.. Insisting we changed over at the exact time.. then being impatient, unable to wait, jumping straight in at the other end... three's up from then on.. The rest of the Gang wandered about "seeing the sights" I only saw the ceiling of our room from between her legs.
The hall porters quickly realised what was going on .. if we did leave the room, even for a hour, we would return to find one of them.. back to our door, holding his hand out.. Immediately became pissed off with this.. paying twice. Just then Berni had another piece of information.. a place called Pattaya somewhere down the road.. This, to his information, was the place to be.. not being screwed by all and sundry in BKK. Jimmy refused to leave our loved one, under any circumstances!
The rest of us trundled off, booked a exotic ride in a air conditioned, fast bus to Pattaya. All very pleased and excited about this, something odd, a mystery about the place, few had been there.
Time to wait, a few hours. Drifted off for some food, a saunter round the hot streets.. Went down to Patpong, girls up on the bars, amongst the glasses, bottles, the ashtrays, dancing to the heavy beat, rubbing their bodies against chromium poles, nothing more on than a G String, coloured number stuck to their breasts.
Se afișează postările cu eticheta Jimmy. Afișați toate postările
Se afișează postările cu eticheta Jimmy. Afișați toate postările
The Flight to Thailand
Early summer morning.. stood on the kerb waiting.. dressed in white flared trousers, brightly coloured jacket, pink shoes, a folded umbrella. The finishing touch being a huge Stetson cowboy hat I had bought in L.A... Why chosen this bizarre outfit, hardly know. Maybe it simply reflected my mood... My first venture away without any strings, ties, no woman in any aspect .. nowhere..
A police car stopped opposite, relatively little traffic so early.. the police, nothing to do other than wonder what this thing was, obviously soliciting on the corner of Clapton Common... it simply, to them, did not look right and they had seen all the scenes. Could hear the gang laughing, the cab trundling up the road.. pulling me in before the police did.. Well, everyone laughing ..what more?
Berni, almost choking: "What the Fuck 'ave you got on there Peta!!" Coughing.. spluttering.. All falling about. Six of us and our junk jammed in . We were "Off to see the Wizard". Somewhere high in the deep blue skies above.
Someone insisted that we stop at their favourite "Good pull up for Carmen".. Of course I was pushed up front to get the teas and bacon sandwiches.. Really kids out of school could not have laughed and larked about so much as us old men.. We had escaped! Albert from Shirley.. Bernie from Audrey. Jimmy from his dominating old woman.. Johnny from Rose and her total silence, Fred, how he had escaped from his menagerie we had no idea. I had escaped from myself.
Closer we approached Heathrow the worse we became, the cab rocking and rolling it's way along the road. Must have looked a weird bunch in Number Three Terminal.. did get some odd glances from the so prim, so proper, young female staff in their smart uniforms, our eyes devouring each inch of them.. We had somehow managed to emerge from the underworld.. the other World of dirt, noise, stress and darkness.. we looked it.
The airplane, very big. We were scattered down the aisle, the gang aft .. smoking.. Found myself next to a woman, no one either side of us, the plane quite empty.. After take off they all casually sauntered down to see my little game.. I was feeding her from a large bottle of Southern Comfort.. she showed sufficient interest to go back and talk to them, agreeing to give them all a blow job once things settled down.. how she was talked into this ..hardly know.. another Soss? Very well dressed, expensive, well spoken female, going to visit her Husband in Delhi .. some kind of manager for Colman's Mustard..
Once the blankets came out the lights went down she and I went into a clinch.. then into the Six mile Club. Suppose we were in there for about 500 miles, our bodies jammed tight together in the confined space.. some contortions were needed.. she evidently knew all the moves, all the positions.
Back in our respective seats, realised between us had sunk a full bottle .. she passed out.. cold. Bernie and Jimmy arrived ..too late! What they called me is not repeatable! Never stopped moaning about it....kept reminding me and telling any else who would listen what a "Shnorra" I was ! But this was to be only the first of my beating them to the draw throughout that trip.
A police car stopped opposite, relatively little traffic so early.. the police, nothing to do other than wonder what this thing was, obviously soliciting on the corner of Clapton Common... it simply, to them, did not look right and they had seen all the scenes. Could hear the gang laughing, the cab trundling up the road.. pulling me in before the police did.. Well, everyone laughing ..what more?
Berni, almost choking: "What the Fuck 'ave you got on there Peta!!" Coughing.. spluttering.. All falling about. Six of us and our junk jammed in . We were "Off to see the Wizard". Somewhere high in the deep blue skies above.
Someone insisted that we stop at their favourite "Good pull up for Carmen".. Of course I was pushed up front to get the teas and bacon sandwiches.. Really kids out of school could not have laughed and larked about so much as us old men.. We had escaped! Albert from Shirley.. Bernie from Audrey. Jimmy from his dominating old woman.. Johnny from Rose and her total silence, Fred, how he had escaped from his menagerie we had no idea. I had escaped from myself.
Closer we approached Heathrow the worse we became, the cab rocking and rolling it's way along the road. Must have looked a weird bunch in Number Three Terminal.. did get some odd glances from the so prim, so proper, young female staff in their smart uniforms, our eyes devouring each inch of them.. We had somehow managed to emerge from the underworld.. the other World of dirt, noise, stress and darkness.. we looked it.
The airplane, very big. We were scattered down the aisle, the gang aft .. smoking.. Found myself next to a woman, no one either side of us, the plane quite empty.. After take off they all casually sauntered down to see my little game.. I was feeding her from a large bottle of Southern Comfort.. she showed sufficient interest to go back and talk to them, agreeing to give them all a blow job once things settled down.. how she was talked into this ..hardly know.. another Soss? Very well dressed, expensive, well spoken female, going to visit her Husband in Delhi .. some kind of manager for Colman's Mustard..
Once the blankets came out the lights went down she and I went into a clinch.. then into the Six mile Club. Suppose we were in there for about 500 miles, our bodies jammed tight together in the confined space.. some contortions were needed.. she evidently knew all the moves, all the positions.
Back in our respective seats, realised between us had sunk a full bottle .. she passed out.. cold. Bernie and Jimmy arrived ..too late! What they called me is not repeatable! Never stopped moaning about it....kept reminding me and telling any else who would listen what a "Shnorra" I was ! But this was to be only the first of my beating them to the draw throughout that trip.
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