Charlie

A warm evening, had dressed for once in my suit, hardly knew why. Waited, helped put the kids to bed. Virginia, less taunt than usual. We sat in the kitchen with its green glass windows overlooking the garden, very rarely spoke, what was  left to say? Knew she had her friends from the conservatory coming. They would gather in the other room, get their instruments out and disappear into a World of their own. On one of these occassions, Roberts had come round, maybe the worse for a few 'schooners'  had pulled faces at them through the high glass windows….  never forgiven. Roberts was all right, one of the few people who could be turned to.

Virginia stuffed the dishwasher full, slammed its door and turned round looking at me with that 'I want to get the clarinet out, isn't it time you disappeared to one of your girl friends?' look.

Shouted for the kids to stop the racket as I walked past their bedrooms, dropped into the 'Holden' went down to see Roy.

Francis Roy Thompson, a very ancient man, living in an old shack Norwood way. Access  up a rickety flight of stairs, no banister,no doors, his paintings, everywhere,  He had been in vogue, a celebrity for some years,  detailed pictures of exotic flowers, but flowers were out, and he scraped by doing odd commissions.

Clambered up the stairs. Roy, lying there on the wicker bed, a bottle of plonk in one hand and a very firm breast of a young woman in the other. Never knew what his attraction was. Really, he was almost hideous. A strangely long face with white hair hanging down each side of it, thick, slobbery lips covering the wide gash of his mouth, must have worn the same stripped suit, or what remained of it for the last twenty years.

"Hello Peter, this is a surprise!" I looked at the bird ... "Oh, this is Elspeth."

"Well, I won't stop as you are busy" ... my voice trailed away.

"Not at all ... in fact we were thinking of going down to the 'Pink Panther'."

Had seen the place on Norwood Parade, the only so-called 'Night club' in Adelaide.

"Come into money?" I inquired.

"Don't worry. I know Madam Charlie. Have done a little work for her."

Vaguely, wondered who 'Madam Charlie' could have been and if she was any bottle, what was she doing in a dump like Adelaide?

Decided to go along ... a bit early for Beth.

The atmosphere in the Pink Panther,  different to imagined. Not a dump, clean, bright, gentle evening breeze lifting the white curtains, the whole place reverberated of a woman... packed out. Suddenly realised  I had been overtaken by events,  the suit I had on, bought with my demob money down Brick Lane,  more than a joke. Roy, in his strange apparel, fitted in somehow, I felt like a duck out of water.  Had a drink, Roy  had another.

Madam Charlie, when she appeared, something to pay attention to. White, full length dress, gold trim,  cleavage cut down to her waist, nothing  left to the imagination. Five foot four,  all the right things in all the right places. Above all else,  vibrant. Coming into the room,  men started falling over themselves ...  women smiled.    Felt like sliding under the table, realising that my inadequacies were adding up fast. I had been overtaken, even by sleepy Adelaide.

Madam Charlie fluttered about, tried to imagine how she had managed to get people to call her in such a way, She came over to us, a kiss for Roy, arm about the girl, just very gently, almost a caress. The woman gave me a quick ,hard look. For a moment  thought  I had seen her face before, told myself not to start. A very long time since actually relaxing,  letting myself slip away, forget. 

Almost time to see Beth, waiting for me in her darkened bungalow, after which interlude,  go 'home' quite possibly start bashing my head on the wall after being in bed for twenty minutes, Virginia, quite definitely asleep.

Had a few more drinks, Charlie kept looking at me, kept telling myself not to get wound up.

Evidently  made her mind up about something, stopped singing at the piano, walked directly over to me. Roy, Elspeth, and, I thought, all the other people in the room too, looked at me.

"You're Peter" she said. "Peter from Edith Cutlacks."

Sweating. Her breasts about an inch from my face. Roy chipped in:

"Well, it's a small world. How did you both know Edith?"

Charlie persisted ...

"Don't you remember we went swimming together?"

Couldn't see why she  bothered. So what did it matter  we had gone swimming? She sat down at the table, clapped her hands, ordered champagne.  Thought of the cash  I did not have in my wallet.

Reasons  only fate knows , the evening  to be a turning point in my life. Charlie  not to let go,  always insistent on getting whatever she wanted.

For the first time in my marriage, did not go home that night, or the next, or the next. She lost her business over the affair, I lost my family and escaped, finally, from Australia.

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Waited, slightly uneasy, the cold catching at my throat.  not occurred to me that no one would be in.  Pressed the button again. The door clicked, pushed my way in. Nothing, nothing at all had changed. Charlie stood at the top of the stairs, quite naked, still wanting to devour me, still giving me a feeling of being somewhere  I belonged. Sat me down,  started pulling off my boots, putting on the coffee, asking what I was doing wandering about in the middle of the night in the freezing snow. She had once said to me:

"Well, what do you want me to be? Your mother? Your harlot? Your wife? ... and how long do you want it to last? ... two weeks? Two months? Or would you prefer to have me only when you felt like it?"

She had been all of those things to me, practically. I only did go to her when I felt like it,  usually when  in trouble.

Leaned back on the sofa, eyes wandering about the flat. Could see into the other room through the half open door. A white slender arm hanging out of the bed, cigarette held between  long, manicured fingers. Nails painted bright red, each shaped like a pearl. Charlie followed my fixed eyes, forgot my weariness, held the champagne glass, half covering her face, she was smiling, that was for sure... tiger snake watching a rabbit.

Knew  I was not on Fred's floor. Wherever else I may have been, much too soft...  faint smell of Chanel and cigarette smoke ... female bodies. Pushed my arm cautiously about to see if it would encounter anything. Soft skin, tried opening my eyes, the light streaming into my consciousness.

Charlie standing by the bed, tray in hand, breakfast.

By the look of her, it was she that had drunk the milk. As always,  waited for me to speak. Putting the tray on the bed, propping me up as if I were an invalid. Napkin round my neck, sugar in my coffee, cup in my hand. Sat on the edge of the bed, crisp, cool. I looked slowly at the girl asleep beside me.

"Oh, it's a little late for introductions, but this is Hazel."

Hazel stirred, opening her eyes, a faint smile. Charlie said something to her in French, knowing that I would only be able to guess. Charlie looked at me.

"What did you think of my little present?" I was unable to come up with a suitable answer.

Being Sunday, the church bells bonged mournfully. Charlie decided  we should take the air before the day was completely gone. Walked between the two women along the bank of the Rhine. Apparently the rest of the population, dressed in their Sunday best,  also doing just that. A far cry from the River Lea. No sense of despair and decay, an atmosphere of comparative affluence. Both women dressed to bring dead men alive. High heels clipping smartly on white concrete. Other men tried looking without their wives noticing.

Attempted to put some order in my brain, knew this elation of being with the women would not last. Sure, could possibly stay and work here... had done it before. Charlie would do everything for me as before ... yet I wondered. There had been a change, nothing ever remains the same. She looked different. Spoke softly and confidently to Hazel. Speaking in French,  felt excluded.

Looked about the clean orderly landscape, would have liked to think a place for me here, other doors, besides Charlie's would open for me....  No, an alien and alienated, the grime and dirt of Hackney waited,  the bleak twisted streets were for me, a million sightless windows were mine to stare back at. This feeling followed me everywhere, remorselessly.

Hackney stretched and beckoned. I knew all its inflections, the ebb and flow of its myriads  people. The Town Hall, circa 1939, had been a landmark in my life. My father carrying me on his shoulders above the throng, to see its opening, a floodlit spectacular. But the Brave New World never materialized.  Now just another lump of concrete to be passed on the bus.

Stayed two weeks, in that period Charlie had shown not quite the same interest in the kids as she always used to.

For the three months that we had them together there had been a change in everyone's lives. She scrubbed them until they shone, insisting that once she had them dressed they stayed clean. They were made to call me 'Sir'.

Very happy in that interval while Virginia had gone off to the UK. Charlie had taken her to Rundle Street and bought her new clothes and underwear, trying to give her some dress sense before the departure. All very civilised, Virginia, Charlie, the kids and myself.  Think Virginia saw the situation as one which she could turn to her own advantage. I had been the one to suggest  she went to London, not really thinking  she would. Whatever else, Virginia wasn't a fool. The chance to drop four boys in someone else's lap, to escape from a husband who was neurotic, to say the very least, was an opportunity  had to be taken. Even then she did not escape lightly.

Her boat left from Melbourne. It being decided that I would drive her down, Charlie would have the kids. The mother-in-law watched all this, not so discreetly, over the fence. As usual, went tearing up into the Adelaide Hills. Must have been well past Mount Lofty when I saw a telephone box, rang Charlie who was in a turmoil. My mother-in-law decided to attack her the moment my back  turned. Jumped back into the car, spun it round on the dirt highway.

"Your fucking mother !"  Smacked Virginia in the mouth. She never said a word, only wiped the blood away with her handkerchief. I drove into the drive at about forty miles an hour, kids scattered. Virginia never moved. Charlie, with her arms full of blankets, toys, food, ushered everyone into the car … we set off again.

Once across the border into Victoria, the road surface improved.

I simmered down enough for Charlie to take over, who handled the car faultlessly, much to Virginia's disgust, who had persistently refused to learn how to drive.

Must have dozed, woke up to find we were parked in the shade bordering a large lake. Charlie and myself had been there before. A good place to swim and get the dust off which had penetrated everything. The place deserted, other than for the flies. Once, however, Charlie  stripped down to the skin, we had a few trucks pull up. Virginia remained aloof from our splashing about, I had tried to apologise, but the words refused to come.

Whenever the kids wanted something they ran to Charlie.  Asked myself what she had that made them turn to her so instinctively? Gin and I had failed. We simply did not have time, or refused to make time to attend to their every small need as Charlie did. With her, always children first.

 Towards evening we eased into a little town on the outskirts of Melbourne, deciding to stay there over night. Charlie went into the hotel to fix up the bookings. Going in a while later,  found her surrounded by males, sucking back on a huge brandy glass. She did not have the slightest difficulty in getting acclimatized. She could be dropped in the desert and turn up with a sheik.

Charlie  at her best, a piano, a little out of tune ... she proceeded to take over the place. No one taking the slightest notice of Gin, although once or twice she insisted that the children call her 'mummy'. We had three separate rooms. The women shared with the boys while I had a room on my own, which appeared to be most diplomatic. Went to bed after getting cleaned up, leaving Charlie, as the Aussies say 'having a whack of a time' ... then, she always did ...

Either very late at night or very early in the morning when she crept into bed with me. Never known her drunk, seeming able to drink any man under the table. She was hot, slurred her words beautifully. Usually she would lapse into German. Very pleased with herself.

"You've been playing up, you little bitch"

 She pressed herself closer by way of a reply, making herself irresistible. Whatever she had been up to, I didn't want to know.

With her by me in the night, no longer jumped about trying to stop my brain working, believing that she would be able to straighten the whole mess out. Without her, everything appeared hopeless.

Gin said nothing as we crept up Station Pier alongside the 'Oronsay'. We stopped by the gangway, for a moment... silence. Had explained to the boys that their mother was taking a holiday, they seemed happy about this, For my part,  beginning to feel nervy again...  knew  could not just dump Virginia on the quayside and drive off, which is exactly what I wanted to do, at the same time  did not want Charlie to go on the ship with me.    Anyway  grabbed the bags, Virginia said good-bye to the kids and we went aboard.

Finally found the cabin, going in together she locked the door behind us.

"That won't be necessary." I said, getting hold of the latch ready to get out, but she put her back against the door.

"Come on ... just for old times sake."

She started to slip her dress off. Could feel the sweat sticking out all over my body. knowing how strong she was.  had hardly expected this, then never did think situations out.

Could feel Charlie almost as if  she were standing beside me, knowing  if I did give in she would be aware of it. Suddenly  heard her screaming for me in the companionway. The telepathy  so very strong, heard myself shouting and wrenched clear of the cabin and Virginia,  shaking as though overcome with a fever, little need of explanation. Charlie only had to look at me.

Climbed into the car, accelerated past the ship, unable to tear my eyes off it, knowing  Gin would be there watching, saw her standing alone, arms hanging at her side. Was she crying? or  my imagination?  You're still not strong enough, are you? ... really. I should get her back and leave you to rot together."

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Returned to London, suddenly, as I had departed. Charlie  saved the dramatics, letting me go with just a wave.

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